im drinking this country out of the recession.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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