Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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