im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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