The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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