we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
