Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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