im gay
i know
yea but for you.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
