I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
