Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
