Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
