im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
