Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
only you would photoshop your dick
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
