so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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