Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
