where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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