O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
