Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
