I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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