I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
