PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
