I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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