i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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