I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
