I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
