I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You have to summon your inner elephant
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
