Cold hands, warm shart.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
