what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
