I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
