erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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