I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
