got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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