Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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