my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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