Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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