Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
