At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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