Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
