nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
