you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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