you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I need to calm my uterus...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
