Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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