I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
