I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You pole danced in your parka.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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