ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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