Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
