Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
