She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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