I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
