well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
