dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
